Why We Need to Learn How to Regulate Emotions

Reading Time: 3 minutes

First published: 17 June 2022 @ 6:00 pm

Over the past few years, neuroscience has been revealing that our brains, not our minds, govern our emotions and thoughts. This has made many people wonder whether we can cultivate emotional regulation skills.

But this is a misunderstanding of how the brain works. We have complete control over our thoughts and actions, but this doesn’t mean we can control how we feel.

In this article, we’ll talk about why we need to learn to regulate difficult emotions. We’ll also talk about how we can change intense emotions by changing our thoughts.

What are Emotions?

To grow self-regulation skills, we first need to understand what emotions are. We experience emotions when our brains interpret a situation as threatening or important. 

Different people experience different emotions in the same situation. The way you feel depends on your genetic makeup, the circumstances of the situation, and your experiences.

For example, some people might experience anger when they see a car driving recklessly on the road. Meanwhile, others might feel anxious.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash.

Can We Change How We React to Emotions?

Yes, we can change how we react to emotions. We can also change how we feel. But this is only possible if we understand the role of emotions in our lives.

When we think about emotions, we think about how our moods and feelings influence our actions. For example, if you feel happy and excited, you might decide to go on a shopping spree at the mall. 

If you feel sad and depressed, you might decide to cancel your plans with friends.

This isn’t always true, though. There are many situations where our moods and feelings don’t influence our actions at all. 

The reality is that other parts of the brain that are outside of conscious control make many of our decisions. 

So, in regulating emotions, it’s important to realize that there are different emotions: 

• conscious vs. unconscious reactions to certain situations or people;
• reactions that involve thoughts vs. those that involve feelings;

Understanding these differences will help us understand how to regulate emotions in different situations.

Click on the next page to learn more about why we need to learn how to regulate our emotions.